maria dossett

someone posted for new year’s

“don’t talk about a new year new you

without thanking current you for getting yourself here”

and i thought that’s fair,

but God got me here, not me

while i was kicking and screaming

while the dirt piled up around the house

while i was ignoring phone calls & texts

God made sure no one forgot me

made sure my world kept spinning

and then He said,

“don’t act like you didn’t say yes

as if you didn’t give your

brave & beautiful & bold fiat so many years ago”

took the only leap i could dare

to say yes to leaving everything behind

to see if there was anything out there to gain

and there was so much

classes & museums & baseball games

& movie nights & internships & new things to write

& places to travel & friends to love

weddings & babies & dinner parties &

gain gain gain the abundance

but there was also so much to lose

funerals & faulty friendships &

missing years of family dinners &

no college graduation & moving

from apartment to apartment to house

desperate for a home but no time to settle in

lack lack lack in the loss

sometimes it feels like all the leap left me

was no time with my parents &

being a sidepiece to my friends’ stories &

years & years & years of wreckage to

sift through all by myself

and other times i know that the leap was necessary

for me to love more people with more open arms

for me to be more present to my family when we’re together

for me to learn what authentic friendship really looks like

for me to learn more about myself than i ever could have before

for me to understand both the beauty & the cost of growing up

God gave me so much 

a brave & beautiful & bold life

& i thank Him for spending a chance

on a brave & beautiful & bold little girl

who has grown

brave, beautiful, bold

& beloved in 2024

through every tiny “yes”